I

I am not what I ought to be. I am not what I want to be. I am not what I hope to be. But still, I am not what I used to be. And by the grace of God, I am what I am.

A different kind of prayer...

Heavenly Father, Help us remember that the jerk who cut us off in
traffic last night is a single mother who worked nine hours that day
and was rushing home to cook dinner, help with homework, do the
laundry and spend a few precious moments with her children.
Help us to remember that the pierced, tattooed, disinterested young
man who can't make change correctly is a worried 19-year-old college
student, balancing his apprehension over final exams with his fear of
not getting his student loans for next semester.
Remind us, Lord, that the scary looking bum, begging for money in
the same spot every day (who really ought to get a job!) is a slave to
addictions that we can only imagine in our worst nightmares.
Help us to remember that the old couple walking annoyingly slow
through the store aisles and blocking our shopping progress are
savoring this moment, knowing that, based on the biopsy report she
got back last week, this will be the last year that they go shopping
together.
Heavenly Father, remind us each day that, of all the gifts you give us,
the greatest gift is love. It is not enough to share that love with those
we hold dear. Open our hearts not just to those who are close to us
but to all humanity.
Let us be slow to judge and quick to forgive.
Bless us with patience, empathy and love.
AMEN!

erm

I feel weird. i dont know why.
i am ok, but i just feel weird. think i need to do some thinking. but i dont know what about.
strange...

Reflection on the drama of scripture

As I began to read the book ‘The Drama of Scripture’, I found it very difficult to follow and for a while I regretted not reading the easier option; but as I continued reading, I began to understand the way the book was written and I got into it quite quickly. The first thing that slightly surprised me about this book was in fact the way the two authors chose to write a summery of the bible as a drama, with six acts. I had not seen or heard of anything similar before, and so I was interested in how it would work out.
At the end of each section, I enjoyed the ‘Reflections for today’ as it helped me to understand further what I had just read. As I have not read the whole bible through before, I really enjoyed following the storyline through from beginning to end. There were many things I read throughout the book I had never realised or known before, or how one section of the bible linked with another section.
the part of the book that I enjoyed the most has got to be the ‘Interlude’. I have known for a long time that there was a four hundred year gap between the end of the Old Testament and the beginning of the New Testament, but I have never been told, or have even wondered what happened within those four hundred years. Reading it through, I now have a knowledge of the link between the old and new testament, and it now makes a lot more sense to me.
After reading this book I would definitely recommend it to people as I found it helped me a lot in finding out how the bible and the laws etc. in it can and do relate to my life today. It has helped show me ways to live that would be pleasing to God and that fit into God’s master plan for creation. Also, reading this book has made me feel more important within the role of creation as I am still a part of it. I am part of the whole story, not a side story that God is doing within my life.
Overall I have thoroughly enjoyed reading ‘The Drama of Scripture’ and I feel I know more of what my role is in life. I have found my place in the bible story, have been able to relate the bible to my own life and I know I am part of Gods big plan for his kingdom to come.

One CRRRAAAZZYYYYYY Week.

This week in itself had been crazy. to think that last week the three girls and i were on our way to enfield for training, it feels so long ago. the training went really well, and on the tuesday we were avle to put into practice what we learnt as there was a half term thing going on at the enfield academy. i woke up tuesday morning with a sore throat, but i took ppain killers and thought no more of it. travelling back tuesday evening, i had to go to the hub house for some training on a pragram they use called logic. during this, i got quite cold, and stated shaking. went home and straight to bed and spent the rest of the week at home ill. which in itself was wierd as im a bit lost on what im doing now. i cancelled helping at the wedding and went home on friday afternoon to see my mummy. to say the least, she was very happy to see me.
she had booked an appoinment to see a doctor and i got given talets for tonsillitis that i had. spent frday and saturday around the house being lazy.
sunday was the day that really matters to me. i went to church in the morning which was nice and i saw people i hadn't for a while. i was hoping to see mark (the guy going out with my ex), but he wasnt there. so after the service, i went to his flat, but he wasnt in. i rang him and he was round kerry's (my ex), but he came over to see me.
so many thoughts ran through my head when i saw him. 'now what do i do?', 'i really want to hurt this guy...'
he put his bike away, and we stood face to face in his lounge, and with everything i had within me, i stepped forward, and i hugged him. neither of us were expecting that to actually happen. we then both had tears rolling down our faces, he knew he had doen wrong and he explained everything and how sorry he was, and he understood how i felt, and he kept saying 'hw can i make this better?'. i forgave him there and then. it felt good to let it go. to have him as a friend again. not even planning to see kerry, i was having a coffee with her 15 minutes later. to cut a long story short, the same thing happened. we spoke, we cried, we explained. she apologised for everything she had done, and was sorry she hadnt delt with things differently. we hugged several times, before mark came back, and we all went back to marks.
the walk back to marks felt good. we were friends again. and i didnt hate them anymore. i went on facebook laer, and the sinking feeling i had before every time i saw them on there had gone.
i got back to london late last night, and jo said 'to be honest i am totally in awe of you right now'.
but i dont want people to be like that. i did what i did because i had for myself. to let my be free from the pain i felt, and to be able to move on and be able to focus on what i am doing in london.
i was able to do what i did because God gave me strength to do so, because i asked him so many times over the past few weeks.
this week has been crazy, but God has been there every stepof the way. i could not have had a better week. sunday could not have been better.
Praise the Lord.